Erased your name? [ She's unclear on the precise meaning of that. How much of yourself is tied to a name, after all? Is it just a collection of sounds and letters, or is there power in it? ]
Once again, you're not wrong. But I'll take a momentary solace and a drop of wetness over scratching up the dry earth and expecting it to soothe my throat. Even knowing it will end in loss, I wouldn't choose differently. [ Her whole life before Hell was loss. Endless and eternal. She was denied even hanging onto herself. ]
Isn't your name tied to the things you do? And at times some of the things you do become part of a bigger history. Stories might tell about you, mention you as a murderer, since you are known for killing your species. Erase the name and only the act of killing remains.
[He chuckles some more because, frankly, it hurts.]
But if you could erase your existence, you would know that your species are safe. Your loved ones would live happy lives. You do not exist, so you cannot commit the acts you're known for.
[ She considers that, seriously. It takes several long moments. ]
I can't undo what was done, on my home world there is no mechanism for it. If I could... it would mean consequences that I can't accept. I don't like what I did, or how, and I will never feel good about it, but I don't regret it either. Those acts were set into motion by someone else, if I didn't exist then it wouldn't change what he caused.
So what is left? Selfish comfort. For whatever reason, or many reasons, I do that by seeking out others. For friendship, fighting, touch, sex. I help them with their troubles and they help me with mine.
--All that changes nothing. I know it. But it's what there is.
[Perhaps she has had an even worse end of the deal. After all, what is there to lose when you know that losing is the only outcome? Despite all the blood on his hands and the sins that weigh on his shoulders, he has been granted a second chance.
There's Lesser Lord Kusanali fussing over him and the Traveler checking in from time to time. And he might not entirely like that, it is still better than whatever Saya is facing.]
Hmn. [Now he does not believe in being able to escape fate. But still...] Very selfish but not entirely useless. I figure you are more someone who is not quickly annoyed by the presence of others and if that is your choice who am I to judge?
You know what will await you. [Yet another shrug.] Heh. There's nothing wrong with filling the time you have left with the things you like.
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Once again, you're not wrong. But I'll take a momentary solace and a drop of wetness over scratching up the dry earth and expecting it to soothe my throat. Even knowing it will end in loss, I wouldn't choose differently. [ Her whole life before Hell was loss. Endless and eternal. She was denied even hanging onto herself. ]
no subject
[He chuckles some more because, frankly, it hurts.]
But if you could erase your existence, you would know that your species are safe. Your loved ones would live happy lives. You do not exist, so you cannot commit the acts you're known for.
no subject
I can't undo what was done, on my home world there is no mechanism for it. If I could... it would mean consequences that I can't accept. I don't like what I did, or how, and I will never feel good about it, but I don't regret it either. Those acts were set into motion by someone else, if I didn't exist then it wouldn't change what he caused.
So what is left? Selfish comfort. For whatever reason, or many reasons, I do that by seeking out others. For friendship, fighting, touch, sex. I help them with their troubles and they help me with mine.
--All that changes nothing. I know it. But it's what there is.
no subject
There's Lesser Lord Kusanali fussing over him and the Traveler checking in from time to time. And he might not entirely like that, it is still better than whatever Saya is facing.]
Hmn. [Now he does not believe in being able to escape fate. But still...] Very selfish but not entirely useless. I figure you are more someone who is not quickly annoyed by the presence of others and if that is your choice who am I to judge?
You know what will await you. [Yet another shrug.] Heh. There's nothing wrong with filling the time you have left with the things you like.