Heh. So if I am correct you are merely hoping that you can count on his ability to travel through dimensions?
[Wanderer isn't sugarcoating anything. And when he speaks he looks at her with a neutral expression on his face.
He's been there. Right there, hoping for something he should not hope for in the first place.]
Fate is cruel like that. [Wanderer refills his cup.] And at times, you cannot escape it either. It is just there, waiting for you to accept it as it is. [Oh, and he himself really forgot that one important thing about it. Acceptance.]
Hmn. Perhaps the best thing you can do is to note everything down. And collect pictures in books for those who are important to you. The memories might be lost to you, but its roots still remain. So they might not be entirely forgotten.
You don't know much about my past, but I assure you that you don't need to instruct me on the cruelties of fate. [ Her tone and expression are also neutral, if not veering toward the positive. She knows all about acceptance of terrible things. ]
I hunted down and killed every member of my species, including my twin sister, and in the process watched everyone I love die, either by my hand or due to my actions. I'm aware. And everything you're saying is correct.
I'm choosing to hope, because it makes my life more bearable.
[ She sips her tea for a moment. ]
I do have a handle on preserving memories. I keep a video diary thanks to a device that someone made for me. [ She points to her earbuds, which are hard to see if you're not looking for them. ] I'm keeping it up just in case.
My sins do not differ much from yours. [Wanderer chuckles before taking another sip of his tea. Then he looks at her again, a tense sort of smile around his lips.] Once I tried to undo them. But all I did was erase my name, the acts remained the same.
[He sighs deeply.]
That is stupid, yet understandable. Hope gives you solace. But it only works for a short period of time. [Wanderer moves one of his hands as he speaks.] It is a bubble. Beautiful while it exists and when it pops...all gone. There is just water and wetness left.
Erased your name? [ She's unclear on the precise meaning of that. How much of yourself is tied to a name, after all? Is it just a collection of sounds and letters, or is there power in it? ]
Once again, you're not wrong. But I'll take a momentary solace and a drop of wetness over scratching up the dry earth and expecting it to soothe my throat. Even knowing it will end in loss, I wouldn't choose differently. [ Her whole life before Hell was loss. Endless and eternal. She was denied even hanging onto herself. ]
Isn't your name tied to the things you do? And at times some of the things you do become part of a bigger history. Stories might tell about you, mention you as a murderer, since you are known for killing your species. Erase the name and only the act of killing remains.
[He chuckles some more because, frankly, it hurts.]
But if you could erase your existence, you would know that your species are safe. Your loved ones would live happy lives. You do not exist, so you cannot commit the acts you're known for.
[ She considers that, seriously. It takes several long moments. ]
I can't undo what was done, on my home world there is no mechanism for it. If I could... it would mean consequences that I can't accept. I don't like what I did, or how, and I will never feel good about it, but I don't regret it either. Those acts were set into motion by someone else, if I didn't exist then it wouldn't change what he caused.
So what is left? Selfish comfort. For whatever reason, or many reasons, I do that by seeking out others. For friendship, fighting, touch, sex. I help them with their troubles and they help me with mine.
--All that changes nothing. I know it. But it's what there is.
[Perhaps she has had an even worse end of the deal. After all, what is there to lose when you know that losing is the only outcome? Despite all the blood on his hands and the sins that weigh on his shoulders, he has been granted a second chance.
There's Lesser Lord Kusanali fussing over him and the Traveler checking in from time to time. And he might not entirely like that, it is still better than whatever Saya is facing.]
Hmn. [Now he does not believe in being able to escape fate. But still...] Very selfish but not entirely useless. I figure you are more someone who is not quickly annoyed by the presence of others and if that is your choice who am I to judge?
You know what will await you. [Yet another shrug.] Heh. There's nothing wrong with filling the time you have left with the things you like.
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no subject
[Wanderer isn't sugarcoating anything. And when he speaks he looks at her with a neutral expression on his face.
He's been there. Right there, hoping for something he should not hope for in the first place.]
Fate is cruel like that. [Wanderer refills his cup.] And at times, you cannot escape it either. It is just there, waiting for you to accept it as it is. [Oh, and he himself really forgot that one important thing about it. Acceptance.]
Hmn. Perhaps the best thing you can do is to note everything down. And collect pictures in books for those who are important to you. The memories might be lost to you, but its roots still remain. So they might not be entirely forgotten.
no subject
I hunted down and killed every member of my species, including my twin sister, and in the process watched everyone I love die, either by my hand or due to my actions. I'm aware. And everything you're saying is correct.
I'm choosing to hope, because it makes my life more bearable.
[ She sips her tea for a moment. ]
I do have a handle on preserving memories. I keep a video diary thanks to a device that someone made for me. [ She points to her earbuds, which are hard to see if you're not looking for them. ] I'm keeping it up just in case.
no subject
[He sighs deeply.]
That is stupid, yet understandable. Hope gives you solace. But it only works for a short period of time. [Wanderer moves one of his hands as he speaks.] It is a bubble. Beautiful while it exists and when it pops...all gone. There is just water and wetness left.
no subject
Once again, you're not wrong. But I'll take a momentary solace and a drop of wetness over scratching up the dry earth and expecting it to soothe my throat. Even knowing it will end in loss, I wouldn't choose differently. [ Her whole life before Hell was loss. Endless and eternal. She was denied even hanging onto herself. ]
no subject
[He chuckles some more because, frankly, it hurts.]
But if you could erase your existence, you would know that your species are safe. Your loved ones would live happy lives. You do not exist, so you cannot commit the acts you're known for.
no subject
I can't undo what was done, on my home world there is no mechanism for it. If I could... it would mean consequences that I can't accept. I don't like what I did, or how, and I will never feel good about it, but I don't regret it either. Those acts were set into motion by someone else, if I didn't exist then it wouldn't change what he caused.
So what is left? Selfish comfort. For whatever reason, or many reasons, I do that by seeking out others. For friendship, fighting, touch, sex. I help them with their troubles and they help me with mine.
--All that changes nothing. I know it. But it's what there is.
no subject
There's Lesser Lord Kusanali fussing over him and the Traveler checking in from time to time. And he might not entirely like that, it is still better than whatever Saya is facing.]
Hmn. [Now he does not believe in being able to escape fate. But still...] Very selfish but not entirely useless. I figure you are more someone who is not quickly annoyed by the presence of others and if that is your choice who am I to judge?
You know what will await you. [Yet another shrug.] Heh. There's nothing wrong with filling the time you have left with the things you like.